Crackhead Tales
by Katelyn Wu and Kevin Xiang Chapter 1 Twice upon a time, in the forest down yonder, there was a deer named Ashley in love with a tree. Also there was a bunion (bunny/onion) named Anya. Now Anya was a shy little bunion, however all the helping and caring the world could ever need. ' ' One day, Anya decided to go grocery shopping as she was hosting Ashley’s birthday party. She went to Target and what do you know, the cashier was a marshmallow. So she ate the cashier and went home. However, she made a pit stop at McDonald’s for some dinner. When going through the drive-through, she noticed that the dood taking orders was a grasshopper named Levin. ' ' “Hello, fine sir, how may I help you tomorrow?” Levin inquired. “McHi,, HOW DARE U ASSUME MY MCGENDER!” Anya shouted. She promptly floored the gas pedals and ramped off the curb into another box on wheels. Levin hurdled through the window and jumped to the scene. He pulled out the young shiba inside. But before he could react, the syrup tank exploded and he blacked out. ' ' Chapter 2 ' ' Levin awoke. His six legs were sore. Then, his vision cleared to a young shiba standing next to his bed. ' ' “Excuse me, are you alive?” The shiba asked nervously. “Life is but a fluid concept,” Levin replied. “Well okay Socrates, I was just asking!!” The shiba exclaimed. “Who are you?” Levin suspiciously asked. “I am Katsu, the shiba you saved from the car crash from a week ago. “ Levin groaned from anesthesia. “The what now?” Katsu shoved a newspaper into Levin’s face. Levin’s face went up in surprise. Suddenly, the power went out. Katsu jumped in surprise like always and squeaked a lil bit. Levin fell out of his bed. “Oh my life, does anyone know how to fix a power circus I meant circuit?” Katsu exclaimed. “HAHAHAHAHAH” A loud screech came through the whole hospital. “Seriously though, they need to fix the PA. ANYWAY, YOU ALL JUST GOT CLOWNED!! I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE ME THE PEOPLE IN A644 IMMEDIATELY OR THIS HOSPITAL WILL BE HACKED FOREVER!” Katsu turned. And blinked. They were in A644. Levin fell out of his bed again. “Ah, we are screwed.” Katsu said monotonically. Suddenly a mob appeared outside the door. “YOU *BLEEPS* GET OUT THERE AND SACRIFICES YOURSELVES!” Katsu looked a bit concerned. Her stomach did not feel so good all of a sudden. Levin hopped up and ripped off his cast. “OWIE!!!! Alright we’re good.” He pulled out his staple gun and proceeded to rain staples, Japanese food, and golden stickers on the mob. Katsu’s jaw dropped faster than her grades and she pulled out two katanas from their extremely cool sword holders and began whacking at the mob. They were holding off the mob for now. Then Levin ran out of staples. Katsu snapped a katana. Levin ran out of Japanese food. “Fluff, we’re screwed,” they exclaimed at the same time. The mob picked them both up and threw them outside the hospital. Katsu rummaged around in her bag for her roller skates. But before she could put them on, a bright yellow beam began sucking them up. And up. And up. ' ' Chapter 3 ' ' Two hours had passed and they were still going up. Katsu thought she was going to puke. Luckily, she had brought some pain medication in her bag. “You keeping time?” Levin groaned. Katsu looked for her alarm clock. “McYes McLevin.” Suddenly, they bumped into something hard. It spanned across the whole sky. Katsu dug out her knife sharpener and starting doing her katana. Levin did a flip of some sort. Katsu ate some air. “Hey, I’m standing upside down!” Levin noticed. Katsu glanced in his direction and ate more air. Levin was dumbfounded. Katsu was Katsu. Levin began walking around. He looked awfully bored. Katsu pulled out a chess board. Levin came over and sat down to play. I do not know you, Katsu thought. On the other hand, I do not know me. Katsu moved the queen. Levin shoved his queen into his mouth and started munching. “I WIN” Levin declared,”I ATE MORE PIECES THAN YOU!” Out of all the people who could have saved me, it had to be this one. Katsu thought. She then pulled out her katana and threw it at Levin. Luckily, it missed. Katsu tensed, ready to be scared by the clatter of the Katana, but no clatter could be heard. Levin got up to find it… And fell through the sky. ' ' Oh my life, he may be dead. Katsu thought. Katsu got up and walked to the spot where Levin fell through. She felt the sky, but there was no sky to be felt. “Here goes nothing”, Katsu took a deep breath……..and pulled out a hydro flask from her bag. Hydrate or die drate. After taking a sip of water, she took out a parachute and attached it to her sweater. She prayed to the tree gods that she might still be alive after this risk. Then, with a deep Inhale, she jumped. ' ' Chapter 4 Katsu was falling, and falling fast. What in the world happened to my parachute, she desperately tugged at the strap. The parachute finally opened, but not before being shredded to pieces. Katsu screamed, and then pulled out her backup helmet from her endless bag. After securely putting it on, she curled up and waited to die. After falling for a while, she pulled out her alarm clock. ' ' My gosh, I’ve been falling for an hour now. Katsu was now really concerned, although she was a unique shiba, she was still a person who never got into crazy situations. Then her face felt warm, and was promptly blasted by an updraft of hot air. Oh fridge, this must be a plane. Katsu desperately clawed the air, determined not to be embarrassed. ' ' She landed on a heap of soft material. It felt strangely warm and even slightly tingly. “Well hello there,” Levin greeted her,”late to the party.” Katsu gasped in shock. She was shook. “Mind the ants,” Levin said enthusiastically. Katsu realised that she landed in a big pit of ants. Katsu did mind the ants. Very much. So much that she immediately got off the pile of ants. “I literally wished for something soft to land on and this is what I got,” Levin explained. Katsu nodded, picking ants off her skirt. Levin ate some ants off of Katsu’s sweater. Katsu whisked out a lint roller from her bag. She started cleaning her skirt because it is expensive to dry clean. Katsu looked up, and wished for an umbrella. The skies were dark and the clouds were menacing. “It is about to rain.” Katsu said matter- of- factly. Suddenly, an umbrella appeared in Katsu’s paws. “Oh my life,” Katsu said weakly. “It’s an umbrella.” It was the expensive one too, the kind that folds up coolly and can fit in your bag. Although, I could fit anything in my bag, she thought as she pulled out a lawn table. Katsu opened up the umbrella and stuck it over Levin’s head. Then, she proceeded to take out her raincoat and rain hat. The raincoat was very magical and could cover things from rain from over 5 ft around. Katsu sat in anticipation for the rain. ' ' I wish it wouldn’t rain, Levin thought. Then, he realised that his feet felt wet. He was very confused at first, but when he looked at Katsu, he realised she had cried a legitimitate ocean. “Why are you sad?” Levin inquired. Katsu looked confused. They realised that onion juice was irritating their eyes. ' ' A bunion was huddled on the floor. Levin realised that it was the same bunion that rammed her box with wheels into Katsu’s and instantly drew his staple gun on the bunion. Katsu, being Katsu, instinctively jumped in front of the bunion. Levin looked awfully confused. “Errr, move?” Levin asked questionly. “Errr, you move?” Katsu inquired. Levin dropped his staple gun and wondered why Katsu was so nice THE END